Temperature: 100 degrees
Humidity: Out of this world
Need: Some way to cool off
Solution: Swimming pool
Problem: No money for membership
New solution: Sneak into local pool
Example: Wardman Park Marriott pool, located in Woodley Park
- Be confident.
- Pee before entering to avoid having to exit later.
- Walk up to the gate, looking like you know exactly what you’re doing.
- If you’re tall, reach over the pool gate and unlock it.
- If you’re short, casually loiter until a hotel guest uses their key to open the gate, and follow in behind them.
- Act like you’re on the phone with your mom, and be really upset with her about leaving the hotel key in the room. Most likely, surrounding people will sympathize with you and let you in.
- Avoid travelling in large groups.
- Hold a clipboard (it has to be wooden, not one of those cheap neon ones) and pretend to check things off. This will make you look super intimidating.
Once you get in…
- Avoid eye contact with all lifeguards and hotel pool personnel.
- Keep headphones in and pretend to sleep so no one bothers you.
- Don’t take more than one towel so you don’t draw attention to yourself.
- Don’t do cannonballs or swim excessively.
- If you get caught, don’t be rude about it! Act innocent, polite, and accept defeat for the time being. Try again in a couple days, at a different time.
We’re not made of money but we’re also dying of heat: the perfect combination for sneaking into local pools. It might seem risky at first, but if you’re truly craving a refreshing dip in a swimming pool, you will succeed. Good luck, and be careful!